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Submitted on
March 10, 2013
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ii.
i cannot remember
what i should not forget

you are nothing, now,
but echoes.



i.
these shadows,
[hands]
peeling back layers
of bone. your hands--
cauterised nerves
and steel-edged gilding--
pry me apart

& i break
open.
I don't know why this came out today, but that's how these things work, isn't it?

This is another one about sexual abuse, particularly that sense of violation, but also about flashbacks/flesh memories, and the way the abuse's effects last into adult life.

No particular questions to ask, but any constructive criticisms/critiques or comments are definitely welcome. It might be worth noting, too, that the backwards ordering of stanzas is deliberate -- and that although the flow is not as good, it can also be read backwards.
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Jul 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh my god. This... I don't even know what to say. Perhaps that I am so terribly sorry. You did not deserve that in the slightest! No human being on the face of this earth does! Especially not one so lovely as you. You’ve had so many unjust things done to you, that I cannot help but want to jump through this damn monitor and give you the biggest squeeze possible for possessing so much strength. Thank you: you are an inspiration to me.
Having had a somewhat similar experience (though of course nowhere near, as you know), I really just loved the fact you put ii and then i. holy crap you are a complete genius, and I feel the need to bow down! :worship: This is absolutely gorgeous.
But seriously! I never know how to put these things into words, but I do feel like it starts out in the present, and then you begin to reflect back - you are sucked in and you can't help but think of them. Even if you're lucky enough to only think of them every few weeks, they still worm their way into your head and memories. So, I really liked that this started out in the present... it was just a little detail that I felt was wonderfully accurate and beautifully expressed.

The fact you can express yourself so well here is something I will always envy: I can never turn these feelings into beauty. They sit and rot, quite frankly, but with the things I'm immersing myself in, they seem to be disappearing on their own. However, when they do pop in out of the blue, it just is like a train slammed you, and you can't believe that you're back to square one. Just keep strong, lovely! You are such a gorgeous soul, and I am so glad that I had the pleasure and privilege of meeting you. You've helped me so very much! Please know, that I really, really liked this poem. It completely blew all of the breaths from my lungs and left this hollow ache of asphyxiation. It was just fantastic. Keep up the good work! :rose:

(:facepalm: I realized I've been commenting on extremely personal poems? Same goes with this one: If you don't wish for it to be included, please let me know. For now, I shall leave it without a favorite - so others won't see it in the roadtrip gallery - and without a feature unless told otherwise. I mean no offense in the slightest - these are all so beautiful - .. I just truly think your input matters! Some artists post their personal experiences, but I've ran into quite a few who do not wish it broadcasted in something as big as a feature, or this kind of event. So please just let me know!)
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:iconbloodawni:
bloodawni Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. :heart: :heart:

I love that you reached in and grasped the heart of this so easily -- that 'worming' they do that taints everything, and yet... and yet. :heart: Thank you for that, so much.)
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:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Apr 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hello!

As part of a Found Poetry: Titles as Art project ( brought to us by =SilverInkblot and used in our new group, #TheTitlePage ), I've used the title of this beautiful deviation in a poem here:

Moonlight Affairs

Thank you so much! :heart:
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:iconbloodawni:
bloodawni Apr 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh bless, thank you! I'm honoured. :D
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:icontwilightpoetess:
TwilightPoetess Apr 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome!
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:iconfirmasrock:
Beautiful subtle wording.
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:iconbloodawni:
bloodawni Mar 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much! I think subtle wording is important in a poem, and particular in a poem about such a sensitive topic, so I try to use it as much as possible. :)
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:iconbear48:
bear48 Mar 15, 2013  Professional
richly expressive
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:iconbloodawni:
bloodawni Mar 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much! :)
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:iconminamurrayxvii:
minamurrayXVII Mar 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I absolutely love your composition. With these simple words you described an entire world of feelings, and that's not easy.
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