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Submitted on
September 26, 2013
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370 bytes


37 (who?)


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Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License.
we are not born noble.
instead, we are thrust out
squalling and naked,
feather-dust fur instead of wings
and crowns built of flesh & bone.

as the caterpillar into her chrysalis
we begin lowly that we may grow.
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It's really, really beautiful, short and to the point... It has a class to it not even my poetry holds, as least in beauty. The ideal is so simplistic, and yet so impactive... In my opinion, it makes me think and wonder if anyone could find the counter-argument, in a good way. There is, too, a fact that not everyone is entitled or noble by birth, and the fragility of human life. But, the change from fragility in birth to a caterpillar to a butterfly is just gorgeous. It's an amazing sort of metaphor for greater meanings. Very well done.
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The Artist thought this was FAIR
5 out of 6 deviants thought this was fair.

forgive me, this is going to be my first critique.

Well, hello there *bloodawni! I suck at this so bear with me, please. Anyway, I was reading this over and over again for a few minutes because of its simplicity. Simple, but that made it beautiful. I always loved short and pretty poems. In my opinion, its shortness adds to the impact of the idea. It is always amazing, in my perspective, for a writer to contain such vivid and beautiful visions in a few lines and impact the readers with its idea. The metaphors are beautifully written, adding to the idea of vulnerability of growth. All in all, this is such a beautiful poem, and the last few lines have left something for me to think of.
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The Artist thought this was FAIR
7 out of 7 deviants thought this was fair.

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000SkyArrow000 Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I liked the way you did that one....simple but so cool
bloodawni Feb 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks very much! Glad you enjoyed it. :)
000SkyArrow000 Mar 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You are very welcome....^^
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here dailylitdeviations.deviantart.…
Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.
bloodawni Nov 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm so very slow, but thank you very much! :heart:
RiseandBe Oct 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This whole piece is beautiful, but I especially love the last line. What a perfect ending. What a perfect summary, of the poem, and topic. Just... perfect.
bloodawni Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you, I'm honoured!
RiseandBe Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: My pleasure!
haphazardmelody Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is one of the best analogies for maturing that I've ever read.
bloodawni Oct 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh! Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :heart:
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